If I Had You: A Vacillating Short Story (The Vacillation Saga Book 3) Read online

  If I Had You

  A Vacillating Short Story

  Ian Schrauth

  Copyright © 2016 by Ian Schrauth All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author.

  First edition: October 2016

  This novel is a product of the author’s imagination. The events described in this story never occurred. Though, Buildings, and businesses may exist. This story is to only entertain readers

  Preface

  Chapter 1

  One year ago

  “You fucking faggot,” he yelled to me. “I wanted some tacos, not this fucking shit you gave me!”

  Working at a fast food joint was the worst thing that could have happened to me. I mean, you get paid minimum, AND – if you’re still in school, may it be college OR high school – you have to deal with assholes from your school.

  But it gets better!

  You have to deal with them throwing tacos at you in the drive thru…

  That’s exactly what this person did to me, but this wasn’t some random guy.

  I used to go to Oakville High School and I was SO glad that I’m moving soon. I mean, there were a lot of people who had taken advantage of me and my disabilities. I had a class called Theater Workshop, and it was…well…

  The school could have renamed it to The Cliquey Class of Hell.

  I looked at my manager, who was taking orders, holding the taco that he threw at me. She looked back at me and said to the customer in her earpiece, “Just one second, I’m sorry,“ and walked over to the window. “Is there a problem here?”

  “Yeah, have this bitch remake my damn taco!”

  “Get out of my drive thru!” She yelled. My manager was like a mother to me because she loved me so much.

  She knows what I’m going through…

  “Good day to you.” I said to the group of boys.

  “Have any fun sucking that dick?”

  My manager looked at them and yelled, “LEAVE!”

  “I want to know from this faggot why he sucks fat cock.” One boy said as laugher followed from the rest.

  I closed the door and locked it. I started to feel tears form at the back of my eyes, and Megan, the manager in charge, said, “Go into the break room. Calm down.”

  I walked to the break room and leaned my head on the wall. Tears fell slowly and I started to lightly cry.

  These kids are from my school and they are some of the worst bullies there.

  “Is everything OK?” I heard my GM come back and ask. Karen was my general manager, and Megan was the assistant. I think Megan told Karen about what happened.

  “It’s nothing. Bullies from high school are just outside the drive thru asking why I suck…male parts,” I said and looked up. My eyes were all red and Karen gave me a hug.

  “I’m sending you home anyway. We’re blowing labor.”

  “Thank you.”

  Karen left the break room and I sat in one of the chairs. I didn’t think that being gay was this hard. I mean, I came out a month ago and it spread to the whole school because I told the wrong person.

  A girl named Erin…

  And she went behind my back and told the whole school.

  And word caught on to the bullies…

  Chapter 2

  I was walking home after I got done working. I didn’t have a car and this was the only thing that I could do. My mother and my dad were working, so I couldn’t get a ride from anyone else.

  They all closed that night.

  I enjoyed my walks from work to home. I mean, it calmed me down from what I witnessed at work and it gave me ideas.

  When I got home, I walked into the house, and went to my room. I threw my clothes in my wash basket and went on my computer in my underwear.

  Before I could get onto my computer, my mother came into my room without knocking. Gosh, haven’t you heard about knocking?

  And I thought you were at work?!

  “How was work?” she asked.

  “I’d rather not talk about it.” I replied and got on some clothes. I hate being in my underwear in front of my mother.

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing.”

  “No, tell me, what happened?”

  Gosh, don’t you understand the word “no”?

  Jesus!

  “I don’t want to talk about it!” I said. “I just want to be left alone.”

  Mom looked at me, and said “When you want to talk, you can come out.” And closed the door.

  What didn’t she understand about not wanting to talk?

  When I got some pants on, I walked over to my white board. The only reason I have a small white board in my room is for outlining.

  Outlining chapters.

  Chapters for my books…

  That’s right.

  This faggot is a writer.

  I’ve been writing since the sixth grade, when I started to write Justin Bieber Fan Fictions. Let’s just say he was my celebrity crush…

  He’s fugly now…

  I am hoping to get this piece of work published…let’s see how far that goes…

  They’ll never get an eighteen-year-old published…

  Part one

  Chapter 3

  Morning hit and I did NOT want to go to school…it would be the same shit, different day.

  But I want a job beyond my old job – Taco Bell – I would have to go…

  I got in the shower and fixed myself some breakfast. Mom had to go to her job early, leaving me stuck to ride the bus…

  The bus SUCKED! I mean, BADLY! All of the cool kids sit where I want to sit and all they do is talk about sex, fart, and try and get away with smoking.

  Fuck that shit! And yes, a pun was intended...

  ***

  I decided to sit near the back, but near the front, just so I could be nosy and see what they’re saying.

  I mean, I do get into people’s business a LOT…

  “Hey fag face!” one of them yelled at me. “What you doing back here?”

  Nobody calls me a fag in ANY way!

  Somebody is going to die here!

  “And why the fuck did you mess up my tacos, you fucking idiot?!”

  The bus started to move and I decided to put my earbuds in. I thought it would mute out the sounds of their voices, but I was wrong.

  I felt something hit the back of my head.

  And it stung like a motherfucker!

  I touched the back of my head and felt something wet. They probably threw a spit ball at me or something,

  But when I looked at my hand, it was not clear…

  It was red…

  Blood red…

  Yup, these people are going to die!

  When the bus got to a stop at the school (I was one of the last stops) I got off and they started to chase me. They followed me into the school, and I could feel one of them getting closer to me. Even when I entered the bathroom.

  I turned around, grabbed the motherfucker by his shirt, and slammed him into the mirror. The mirror cracked, leaving the back of his face in a lot of pain…from what I saw on his face.

  “Listen here, you son of a bitch! If you hurt me once again, I will stab you!” I said.

  “With what? Your dick?”

  I pulled out a pocket knife form my backpack and pointed it at his throat. “No, with this.”

  “Please! Don’t!”

  I let go of him and the guy ran out of the bathroom, the oth
ers following him.

  Now I have to deal with the pain of having to deal with that damn principal…

  I took a picture of the back of my bloody head and walked out of the bathroom.

  Chapter 4

  Chemistry class hit and I was sitting in my seat. My lab partner was a very hot guy, but I know for a fact that he’s straight…

  He talks to me about fucking girls…like…all the time.

  Is he trying to turn me straight, or what?

  Well, that’s NOT going to work!

  It was then that the teacher got a call from someone.

  Probably for me.

  “Hello…sure,” the teacher said and hung up. “Jordan Haney, they need you in the office.”

  Shit…

  I grabbed my phone, and headed out of the classroom. I decided to buy some time and go to the abandoned classroom near the edge of the school. I tried to walk my way around the stuff I couldn’t see, until I fell on someone…

  Yeah…SOMEONE!

  “Ouch.” I said.

  “Who’s there?” the person asked. It was dark in the classroom, so I could not see a thing.

  “Who are you?” I asked.

  “Who the hell are you?” I asked.

  “It doesn't matter. I thought I walked into the bathroom, but I was wrong.“ I lied. “Where are we?”

  “We’re in an abandoned classroom.” They said. “You might have come in here by accident.”

  “Oh.” I said. “Are you hiding in here from the school?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yeah. I hate everyone in this school.” I said, being truthful.

  That person sounded perfect! I didn’t know if they were a boy or girl, but I couldn’t tell by the voice. It sounded like a girl.

  I need to get out of here before I start getting…uh…

  I’ll just leave now…

  “Well, I better get going.” I said and heard a loud crack as I got up.

  “Stay!” THEY said. I could feel myself crash down on them…they did grab my arm and yanked on me.

  “You want me to stay?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” They replied.

  Wait, if they want me to stay, I’ll go all teenwhore on them…

  After they said that, I kissed them on the lips. A gentle kiss.

  “Did you just kiss me?” they asked.

  “Yes.” I said, laying another kiss on their lips. But this time, it was longer.

  We were soon making out, when I stopped. I better get to the office…

  Shit…

  That’s all I need…

  Another write-up…

  “Why did you stop?” they asked.

  “Because I have to get back to class.” I said and got up. I heard footsteps walk to the door.

  “Will we meet again?” he asked.

  “Oh, I’m sure. I will never be the same, if we ever meet again.” I said and walked out.

  I’ve always wanted to use that quote…and now that desire was complete.

  I was near the office when I reached into my pocket…I noticed my ID was missing…

  SHIT!

  I hope they don’t know it’s me…

  Chapter 5

  When I arrived at the office, I walked in and asked for the principle. The rude secretary pointed to his office, and said, “get in there.”

  Rude son of a bitch…

  I walked into the office and there was a policeman, the bullies, and the principle. The policeman had the bully that threw that thing at me in handcuffs and the others were sitting down.

  “So, I heard that these people have hurt you physically.” he said. “May I see the wound, please?”

  I walked over to him. And showed him the wound. It was dried up with blood right now and all messy.

  “OK. Kevin Jordan, you’re under arrest for assault of a person.” The police officer said and led him out of the office.

  “OK, now I heard that you had a pocket knife with you,” the principle said. “Did you use that in self-defense, or did you use it to kill?”

  “Self-defense, sir,” I replied.

  “OK, I am going to suspend you for one day and then an ISS when you get back.” he said and typed something on the computer. He then dialed someone’s phone number and said, “Hi, is this Miss Haney?”

  Shit…

  “Yes, I will see you later. goodbye,” he said and hung up. “Your mother is coming up to get you. You may get your stuff from the classroom and have a great day.

  You little cuntbag supreme…

  Why the fuck did you suspend me for self-defense?

  I walked to the classroom, grabbed my things, and headed down to the office. My mother was waiting for me and she was talking to the principle.

  “So, your suspending my son for self-defense?” she asked. “Y’all are stupid!”

  “I’m the principal, so I get to choose the punishments. Here is your son; have a lovely day.” He said and walked back to his office.

  Mom looked at me, and said, “Trust me, you’re not in trouble. You did nothing wrong.”

  “Let’s just go,” I said. “Let’s get out of hell.”

  Chapter 6

  I decided just to write for the rest of the day and when I was done with the rest of the chapter, I got a call from one of my friends.

  “Hey, Jenny,” I answered.

  “Hey, you want to come over to my house?” she asked. “I have someone you might like to meet.”

  Hey, I’m always up to hanging out with my friends.

  “Sure.” I replied.

  “Good! If you want to come over now, you can.” She replied.

  “On my way,” I replied and hung up. I saved my story and got my keys. I started to walk out of the house, but my mom stopped me.

  “Where are you going?” She asked.

  “Over to a friend’s house,” I replied.

  “WHO?!”

  “It’s Jenny’s house,” I said. “Just…Jenny.”

  “Oh. Go ahead.” She said and walked to her room.

  I rolled my eyes, walked to my car, and drove off.

  ***

  I reached Jenny’s house in a little over two minutes and I parked my car on the curb. I got out and knocked on the door.

  Jenny soon answered.

  “Hey! Come in!” she said and led the way to her room. When we got to her room, I sat down on her bed and asked, “So, what is this for?”

  “I want you to meet someone.”

  I said in my most feminine tone, “Oh Jenny, I know you won’t hook me up with some dude!”

  The door soon opened. Jenny’s sister – Tammy – walked in with a REALLY hot boy. He looked my age. How could I have never seen him at school?

  “Who’s he?” I asked.

  “He goes by X.” she said.

  He walked up to me and I looked up at him.

  Shit!

  Love at first sight, right there!

  “Hey, I’m Gary.” he said and shook my hand.

  “Hey, I’m X.” I said and shook his hand.

  My gay-dar was going off…like, a LOT.

  “Gary? I have something to ask you,” Tammy said.

  “Sure.”

  “Are you gay?”

  “Yeah,” he blurted out. “Why?”

  I didn’t hear the rest, because I was just daydreaming about this guy. I mean, he was just stunning! A true boyfriend, in my eyes…

  Or a FWB…

  What the fuck am I?

  A fucking teenwhore?

  “Well, I’m gay too,” I blurted out.

  “You are?” he asked.

  What, you couldn’t tell?

  “Yes.”

  He sat next to me and asked, “Well, what are we doing here?”

  “To talk about shit,” Jenny said.

  More like getting me a boyfriend, you sneaky son of a bitch!

  Chapter 7

  It wasn’t long until it was time for us to go. Mom was getting all worked up over nothing. She
was threatening to call the police if she didn’t hear from me because she thought I was having sex, or some shit…

  When I walked out the door, Gary followed me. He didn’t look like he was going to get a ride home, so I butted in.

  “Want me to drive you home?” I asked.

  “Sure.” He replied as we walked to my car.

  I held the door open for him and he climbed on in. I didn’t get to see the full reaction on Gary’s face because I had to go to the other side to actually drive.

  When I got in, I started up the car, and I saw Gary’s face light up in the mirror. “Like it?” I asked.

  “Very much.” He said, felling the pouch next to him.

  I kinda want him…Well, not inside me, but I want him…

  I started to drive off, when I said, “My dream is to have my first kiss in this car, watching one of those drive in movies, but I know that it’s not my time yet.”

  I couldn’t help but to drive and I think that made Gary suspicious. I can’t lie about my past…

  Not after what Jack and I went through…

  My first true relationship…

  Nothing compared to then…

  Chapter 8

  Three months ago

  Jack and I were cuddling on the couch. I was laying my head on his chest and we were watching TV.

  “So, I have to say something,” he said and paused the show.

  “What is it?” I asked, lifting my head up from his chest. I was so stiff…Like, my body hurt…

  NOT in that way!

  Get your mind out of the gutter!

  He looked at me straight in the eyes and asked, “You can’t say this to anybody. Understand?”

  This can’t be good…

  If I can’t say it to anyone, then it’s probably REALLY BAD.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I’ve always…well…”

  Sex?

  “Don’t say any more.” I replied. “You want to do dirty things to me.”

  “Well, not me to you…”