If I Had You: A Vacillating Short Story (The Vacillation Saga Book 3) Read online

  Shit…

  He wants me to have fun with him?

  Shit!

  “Jack,” I said and scooted closer to him. “I want to do dirty things to you.”

  He looked at me and smiled. “Come on, let’s go to my room.”

  Before I got up, I said, “That quick?”

  “Yeah. I mean, you agreed to it.”

  “Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t actually do it!”

  “Oh, so you don’t trust me?”

  Bitch!

  “I do!” I replied.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “If you don’t trust me, then we shouldn’t be together.” I said.

  He pointed to the door and said, “There’s the door. Introduce your ass to it! We’re done!”

  Shit!

  This escalated quickly.

  I walked out. I drove home, crying in my room…

  Chapter 9

  “Hey, are you in a relationship?” he asked.

  I had no idea where that came from, but that woke me from my mini-trans quickly…

  “Why?” I asked as I looked at him.

  “Because…Well…. I can see you being in one,” I said.

  Is he calling me hot?

  I mean, a lot of guys call me hot, so this is nothing new.

  “Calling me hot?”

  “Well, I’m just saying with your personality, you could be in one,” I lied.

  I could just tell he was lying.

  He’s not good at lying, of what I could tell…

  “Well, I had a boyfriend named Jack and that was about three weeks ago,” I confessed. “We broke up.”

  “Ouch…”

  “I know, but I’m trying to stay away from relationships for a while,” I said as I stopped the car. “Well, are we here?”

  “Thanks.” I said and got out of the car. Before he closed the door, I called his name.

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  “Hey, do you have Facebook?” I asked. I kinda wanted to keep in touch with this guy.

  “Yea,” He replied, a little happiness in his tone.

  “Name?”

  “Gary Heckerson.”

  “Well, I’ll add you,” I said and reached to close the door. I couldn’t reach it and he closed it for me.

  “Bye!” I yelled though the glass and drove away.

  Holy crap! When Jenny told me that she was going to introduce me to someone, I didn’t know that he would be that hot! That figures…he’s like the next Austin Mahone!

  When a stop sign hit, I decided to add him on Facebook. His profile pic was just a selfie of him, with the puppy-face filter on Snapchat…

  Gay to the core…

  Oh well, I am too.

  Chapter 10

  I was walking to the detention room, not giving a single fuck if I was late. I mean, I hate this place anyway.

  When I entered, the teacher asked for my name and I noticed my seat was right next to Gary.

  SCORE!

  “Hey Gary,” I said as I sat next to him.

  “Hey.” He whispered.

  “You have detention too?”

  “Well, duh! Why else would I be here?”

  “Touché.”

  “Hey, no talking!” the teacher yelled.

  God, shut up!

  “Well, we better get to work,” I said.

  * * *

  I rushed out of that room like a bat out of hell! I swear, that was boring as hell!

  Fuck that place!

  I flicked off the teacher on my way out and when I got out of the school, I remembered something.

  The date.

  As I was walking back inside, I saw Gary and a girl come out of the school. They were talking.

  Is Gary bi?

  As they were talking, I walked up to Gary.

  “Ready to go?” I asked.

  “Where are you two going?” she asked.

  “A date.” he replied.

  Her eyes opened wide. “Does Mom know about this?”

  “We just planned it today,” he replied.

  “Oh,” she said and walked off. “Well, I will tell mom you’re hanging out with Tammy. Have fun.”

  “Where do you want to go?” I asked.

  “How about Pasta House?”

  “Sure.”

  We walked to my car and I decided to be a gentleman and hold the door open for my date.

  I think I like him…

  I got into the driver’s side and I drove off. “So, how do you like this school?”

  “I fucking hate it,” I said. “I hate it with a passion.”

  “Why?”

  “Because all of those kids are either whores, smarties, or show offs. That explains the school,” I said.

  “I felt the same way about my old high school,” I said.

  “What school did you go to?”

  “Oakville High School. It’s in Oakville, Missouri, which is in St. Louis, Missouri.”

  “Cool,” he said.

  I came from hell and now I’m back in hell…

  We can’t escape…

  We reached the Pasta House in short notice and we got out of the car. It wasn’t far from the school at all.

  We entered the Pasta House and found a lot of people in the place. It had the smell of pasta. I could see Gary getting hungry.

  “Welcome. Table for two?” the hostess asked.

  “Yup,” I said and wrapped my arm around his waist. I have NO idea why I did that; I guess the devil made me do it.

  “Right this way.”

  We walked to the booth that she indicated and sat down. She put menus in front of us and said, “Your waiter will be out shortly.”

  She left and I didn’t look at my menu. Instead, I just adored Gary. I just had that feeling that he is something special to me. Like he’s my soul mate.

  “Has anyone ever told you, you have the most precious eyes ever?” I asked when he put his menu down a little to look at me.

  “No, nobody has,” he replied.

  How?

  They’re like pearls!

  The waitress came up and said, “Welcome, my name is Gabby, and I will be your waitress. Can I start you with something to drink?”

  “How about Sprite?” Gary asked.

  “Sure. And you?”

  “A coke,” I replied

  “Sure thing,” she said and walked off.

  “So, tell me about yourself,” I said.

  “Other than me being gay, there is nothing to know about me. I’m kind of a dull person,” he said.

  “Well, I have to say you are a very sweet person. That says something about you,” I said.

  Not trying to flirt with him, but I wanted to compliment him.

  “Well, you seem like a kind and respectful person,” he said.

  Talk about a letdown.

  I was expecting a sexy answer from him...

  I made a straight face, then said, “Oh… well…. People tend to stay away from me.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, some people think I’m just a creepy person.”

  “You’re not creepy,” he said.

  “Bullshit. But whatever you say.”

  “Society has made you think that and you can't let that happen,” he said.

  As he was about to speak, the waitress came with our drinks. “Have you decided?” she asked.

  “Yes. I will have the lasagna,” he said.

  She turned to me and asked, “And you?”

  “Same.”

  “OK, coming right up,” she said and left.

  When she was out of sight, I looked at him and said, “OK. I have one thing to say. I think you should stay away from me after today because I can be kinda crazy.”

  “How?” he asked.

  “You don’t want to know,” I replied. I’m saying this because of my past…

  My past not only with Jack, but with another from our school…

  “I can take anything,” he said.

  I do
n’t think I can say…it’s really…uh…sexual…

  “No. I won't say.”

  “Fine,” he said and brought out his phone.

  What the fuck?

  Why did he get his phone out?

  Boy!

  “Seriously? You’re on your phone on a date?”

  “Well, you told me to stay away from you,” he said without looking up.

  Boy, shut the fuck up with your little pink Barbie smartphone and your LGBT+ parade looking ass!

  “After today, I said. We should talk now.”

  He put his phone away and looked at me. Not good. “What should we talk about?”

  I was silent.

  Should I ask him about his past?

  Yeah…

  “How about—”

  “OK, here is your food,” I heard the waitress say as she handed us our dinners. It looked good.

  We ate in silence. It was not the type of silence that people like; it was the awkward silence…

  Like we’re angry at each other…

  Chapter 11

  “That was good,” Gary said as he put his fork down after the last bite.

  “Yea, it was good!” I replied as I put my fork down.

  “That was fast,” he said. “It was only ten minutes.”

  “Well, I am a pig,” I said. “You hardly have eaten your meal.”

  “I’m not that hungry.”

  “Well, I guess you could take it home,” I said and called over the waitress.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  “One leftover dish and the check,” I said.

  “Sure,” she replied and left.

  Gary looked at me and said, “OK, why do I need to stay away from you? You seem like a nice guy.”

  Oh god…

  He’s not bringing this up again? Is he?

  “Well, I have reasons,” I said.

  “What type?”

  “Bad reasons,” he said.

  “I can take anything,” I said.

  I guess I can tell him.

  “Fine… Truth is… I’m always craving sex.”

  What?

  “OK, so here is your check,” She said and handed it to me. I got out my debit card and handed it to her.

  “Thanks,” she said and walked away.

  When she was out of sight, Gary looked at me and said, “I highly doubt you’re a whore.”

  “You’re just saying that,” I said.

  “No, I mean it.”

  I smiled at him. “Well, I guess you're telling the truth.”

  “OK, here is your receipt,” the waitress said as she walked up to us and handed me the receipt. “Have a good day.”

  We got up from our table and walked out of the building. We got into my car and I turned on the engine. “So, want to come over to my house?”

  “Not tonight. My sister has her dance show tonight and my parents want me to go,” he said.

  His sister dances?

  What the fuck?

  “Well, maybe some other time,” I said and started to drive off.

  * * *

  We arrived at his house and I parked my car right in front of the driveway. It was eight o’clock, very late.

  “Well, thanks for a good night,” he said and smiled at me.

  I smiled back. “Hey, it was a pleasure eating with you.”

  He got out of the car and headed inside.

  Why did I have to ask that?

  Oh well, I better get home. Tonight I have a plan where I finish my book.

  Chapter 12

  Well, I can proudly say that my debut novel is FINALLY DONE!

  At a total of 56,579 words, I have successfully written a novel!

  People have loved this book – I gave several people sample chapters – and I think that it’s publishable.

  But my brain was fried…

  I decided to sneak out and head over to Gary’s house.

  I was still in that zone where you are in the land of make-believe when you’re writing, and I couldn’t get out…

  Chapter 13

  I reached Gary’s house and I noticed that he was on the first floor of his house. I picked up a little pebble and threw it at his window.

  Gary quickly went over the window and opened it.

  I had a new look. My brown hair draped over my eyes and my glasses were on.

  I smiled at him and winked...

  “So… Do you like my new look?” I asked, flipping my hair and flashing my brown eyes at him. I showed off my perfectly straightened, glistening white teeth. He bit his bottom lip and gave off a giggle.

  Okay...

  “What are you doing here, X?” he asked. “It’s one in the morning!”

  I climbed into the room, jumped on his bed causing it to squeak loudly.

  “Are you trying to wake up everyone?!” he whispered at me.

  I only grinned and giggled in response.

  “Aw…Come on, Gary, you love this!” I stretched out on the bed, the cover fallen to the floor…

  “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” he asked me.

  Jackpot!

  “Sure,” I said and grabbed the covers over to let him in. Before he joined me, he turned off the lights and hopped on the bed. He laid his head on my chest.

  I wanted this…

  Chapter 14

  I am not going to accuse my mother of not being a workaholic, but even though she has her other job, she is a writer on the side.

  Excuse me, a New York Times bestselling author…

  And she was going to publish my work.

  I have had my work edited while I was writing and think that it was well edited.

  I walked up to my mother with my printed out manuscript, and said, “Mom, I have a surprise for you.”

  She looked up from her laptop and asked, “What is it?”

  I showed her the manuscript and said, “I have successfully written a novel. I have had it edited while it was in production and I want to know if you could publish it?”

  She looked at the manuscript of 98 pages and said, “Sure. I can make this an instant bestseller too.”

  My mother is good for that. Making her books instant bestsellers.

  She is THAT popular.

  She just got done with her next book, so she helped me format my new book and went to her computer to do the graphics. The book is similar to Harry Potter, but the next books in the series will be like the Hunger Games, Divergent, and other famous books like that.

  ***

  It was soon seven o’clock and I had finished the last of the formatting. I handed the file over to Mom and she emailed it to her publisher, who will release the version in about a week or so.

  My mom is that special, that she has her own imprint with Atria books. They have to put their logo on there, but they also put my mother’s publishing company logo on there as well.

  “Well, the book is sent to the printer and they said they will publish it within a week.” She replied. “Get to bed, you have school tomorrow.”

  ***

  I woke up on Monday, not wanting to go to school. I had an amazing weekend and I didn’t want it ruined by those assholes…

  I got dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Mom was on her laptop, typing what seemed to be an email.

  “Jordan, they have your books printed and they are sending them now. The pre-order is up and the sales look AMAZING!” she said and showed me her laptop screen. The screen showed that I had hit #1 on the AMAZON bestseller list overnight.

  Didn’t believe me my mother was that popular?

  Now you know.

  She handed me a printed piece of paper. It had “AMAZON BESTSELLER LIST” written on the top and my book, titled “Time of the Wizard” was written on the top of the list.

  IN THE NUMBER ONE SPOT!

  YES!

  “Hey, I forgot to say. You will be the only one living here for a while. Your father and I have to go to New York for a conference. We leave in about an h
our and we come back tomorrow.”

  The ONLY one?

  Yes!

  “Gotcha,” I said. I got my things packed, thanked Mom for her hard work, got in my car, and headed to school.

  ***

  “OK, I have a surprise for you guys! Some of you will be going to the MCMAs which is a journalism convention. Have your parents sign this and we will let you know if you will be going.” the teacher said and passed out a permission form. “You will be staying in a hotel and going to Full Sail University to attend the conference.”

  YES!

  A chance to get away from this hell hole!

  “When will it be?” I asked.

  “It will be near the end of the school year. Since you took this class, you will have to go. If you’re a senior, you will still have to go as well.”

  I signed the permission form, and put it in my backpack.

  ***

  I was sitting in the library on one of the computers. I was starting to write the outline to the sequel to my soon-to-be-published book.

  While I was finishing it up, I got a call from Gary.

  He could help me pack for the MCMAs!

  “Hi Gary,” I said. “Want to come over tonight?”

  “We need to talk.”

  Oh great…

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I was thinking. This might not be the truth, but are you only into me just to be a F.W.B with me?”

  I was silent.

  Why the fuck would he think that?!

  Eww!

  “No, I like you. And I was going to ask if you wanted to come over and help me pack. I have a trip for the school newspaper that I need to go to and Mom is out of town.”

  “Sure,” He replied.

  “Good. I’ll wait for you at your stop,” he said.

  “Bye.”

  I then hung up, realizing that I was being a creep…

  Eww!

  ***

  The day soon came to an end. I was on my phone at Gary’s stop. I was on Facebook, just looking around.

  It wasn’t long until Gary‘s bus came.

  I rolled down my window, and said, “Hey there!” and waved.

  “How come you can get all the fucking boys and I can’t even get one?” Jenny added.

  What the hell?

  “Because I’m hotter than you,” I said and got in my car. “Tell mom I’m hanging out with X.”